Saturday, 18 April 2009

Rene starts the citizenship process

2009 - The 60th Anniversary of Australian Citizenship
(Prior we were all British citizens)



Just letting you know that Rene, that terrific Dutch partner of mine, starts the citizenship process this Tuesday at 10:30am. He goes into the city and has to answer a test on Australian citizenship administered by a friendly computer. The first time pass rate is 95% of applicants so I'm not expecting any surprises here, he's not either. The next step is an interview, and following that he then gets a date given to him for presentation of his certificate.



Should you wish to contact him and wish him good luck, feel free to do so.






I found this during my research: NB only 'dinky di' Aussies will get all the jokes.


You know you're Australian if . . . .
You know the meaning of 'girt'



You believe that stubbies can either be worn or drunk



You think it is normal to have a Prime Minister called Kevin



You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse



You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden



When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how often and with whom



You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds



You pronounce Melbourne as ' Mel -bin'



You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'



You believe the 'L' in the word ' Australia ' is optional



You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas'



You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, pineapples, prawns and sheep



You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'



You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place



You believe is makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin



You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'



You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread



You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis



You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says 'cobber'



You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again'



You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year



You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is not spelt with a 'u'



You wear ugg boots outside the house



You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them



Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language



You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is alway polite



You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasions via your nose



You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse'



You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle



You biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules of beach cricket



You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac Cookies'



You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'



When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit



You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered



You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction



When working at a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer



You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second



You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.






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